The Point of No Return
by justanotherhomestuck
Summary: Karkat Vantas has had enough. He was sick of all the bullying, the loneliness. He hated himself, everyone else did too. He was just a freak. A waste of space. He shouldn't be alive, everything that has happened has been his fault. He doesn't want this. He never did. He started it, and so he's going to end it. ((MAJOR TRIGGERS AHEAD! READ WITH CAUTION))
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: TW: This is going to be a relatively sad chapter. Self-harm and suicide is mentioned. Do not read if you are sensitive to foul language (Though I don't know how you read Homestuck if you are).**

**1~Chapter One~1**

Karkat kept his head down as he walked away from the bus and to home. He pretended he hadn't heard the taunting. He pretended it hadn't hurt.

He was sick of this. He was sick of everything. He was going to do it. Karkat Vantas decided today would be the day he finally committed suicide. Karkat has been thinking about this for years, and the thought that he's actually going to do it brought a bitter-sweet smile to his face. And it's not like anyone would miss him. He doubted his father would, either. Crabdad had no problem shipping Karkat's older brother, Kankri, off to a mental health hospital, so why would he miss Karkat?

Karkat went about as he normally did every day. He did the same routine; Wake up, quickly eat breakfast, get on the bus, get to school and go through English, Biology, History, Lunch, Study hall, Math, Science, and Art. All day he held onto the tiny sliver of hope he had. He hoped things would get better. They don't; they never do.

Karkat got home the same time he always did. Today was different. Karkat walked straight up to his room, tears threatening to spill down his face. He was going to do it. And he wasn't coming back. It's not like he wanted to come back to this existence, anyways.

Keeping his head down as he walked, Karkat reached his room. He walked it and shut the door behind him, dropping his school bag next to the door. Karkat went over to his bed and softly sat on the foot of it. Everything was how he left it this morning. Soft grey walls, posters of his favorite rom-coms and actors scattered over them. There was a small bookcase off in the corner next to his bed. All of it still there, all of it still in the same place he left it. All of it would still be there when he left. Everything would be; nothing would even change. It's not like Karkat made an impact on the world. So this isn't really going to matter after he's dead, and Karkat thought it was better that way.

Karkat got down on the floor to get the items he needed to make this happen. He pulled out a small shoe box and opened it, revealing a bottle of pills and multiple blades.

The stinging sensation of tears started to form. They weren't sad tears, happy tears. They were just tears. Karkat could never stop them and for that he hated himself more. He was what people called him; pathetic. He was just a freak with red eyes that no one else had. He was loud and angry all the time. He truly was just a waste of space. No one is going to care.

Karkat picked up the small silver blade, staring down at it. He dragged it across his arm, watching red beads drip from the fresh cut. Karkat did this multiple times, each time getting deeper and deeper.

Karkat stopped as he started to feel dizzy, getting the bottle of pills from the little box. He opened the bottle, dumping three quarters into his hand, and took them dry right after.

The pills began working right away, he began to feel sleepy. He dragged the blade against his arm one last time before everything became black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tw: Mental Hospitals, mental illnesses, etc…  
_**

Karkat's head felt fuzzy, and his body felt heavy.

He slowly tried to open his eyes, only to close them again when a bright white light burned them. A quiet, hoarse groan left his throat and he tried to open his eyes again.

This time he was sure to blink and open his eyes slowly to let them adjust. A soft knock came from his door before it opened, reveling a nurse. "Oh, you're awake! I'll go get the doctor!" With that said, she rushed out.

Karkat sighed, and slowly sat up. He looked down at himself and saw his bandage covered arms, with an IV attached to his left one. Karkat began to feel disgusted with the sight of his own appearance, so he started looking around. White walls, plain teal chairs, everything neat and organized. Yep, he was in a hospital.

During his inspection of the room, Karkat didn't notice the nurse return with the doctor. "Mr. Vantas?" The doctors voice was deep and smooth, almost soothing. Karkat had managed to squeak out a quiet 'Yes?' and he hated how pathetic he sounded. "Could you get Mr. Vantas a cup of water?" The nurse smiled cheerfully and nodded, bounding out of the room in a happy manner.

"I'm Dr. Newell, Mr. Vantas. It's great to see you finally awake." Karkat blinked. Finally awake? What did he mean- oh. _Oh._ Karkat frowned and looked away, cursing the doctor out in his head. '_I'm even a fuck-up when it comes to suicide. Can't I do __**something**__ right for once? '_

The nurse quickly hustled back in with a tray. The tray contained a sandwich, an apple, and a cup of water. The nurse set up the bedside stand and set the tray down on it for Karkat, smiling all the while.

Karkat nodded at the nurse in thanks and picked up the cup, quickly gulping it down. Dr. Newell cleared his throat. "We have prescribed you some medicine, alright? And your father would like to talk to you, if that's okay with you." Karkat just nodded, not wanting to speak. "Alright, I'll check on you soon." Dr. Newell walked out, the nurse following, glancing at Karkat with pity in her eyes.

Karkat frowned and started eating, just as his father walked in. He cleared his throat, his frown deeper than Karkat's. "The doctor said it 'would be wise' to send you to the institute your brother's at. I agree." Karkat scowled, knowing he had no say in this. Though he already knew the answer, Karkat still asked, "So what's going to fucking happen, then?" Well, at least his voice wasn't as pathetic.

"You're going. Finish eating so we can go."

Karkat continued eating, finishing quickly. Had he really been that hungry? Strange, he didn't feel hungry. His father called the nurse back in, and she began to unhook everything from Karkat's arms. "You just need to sign the discharge papers and you're all good to go!" The look was back. That look of pity the nurse gave him earlier. Karkat hated it. He didn't need her pity. No one cared before, they shouldn't start now.

Karkat followed his father out of the room, not looking anywhere but forward. He refused to look at anyone. All he would get were those few stares of fake pity. He didn't need the pity. He didn't _want_ it. Not anymore.

"Your things are already packed and in the car." Karkat nodded, following his father to the desk.

The receptionist looked up from her computer. "Are you the guardian of Karkat Vantas?" Her voice was sharp. "Yeah, that's me." Karkat saw his father's disgust in his eyes. He knew it was for him. Karkat knew his father hated him; blamed him.

Karkat shook his head, not wanting to think about that. He watched his father sign the discharge papers, uncharacteristically quiet. Karkat's dad scowled and started walking out, expecting Karkat to follow. Karkat jogged after his father, the same scowl made an appearance on his own face as it had his father's. Karkat's body still felt heavy, and his head was still fuzzy. He knew it was just an after-effect of his attempted suicide and probably whatever bullshit they put in him to counter-act it.

"How fucking long was I out?" Karkat was thankful for his voice returning; he hated sounded weak. "Two days." Karkat didn't expect his father's answer to be lengthy, he never did. Not when they were directed to Karkat, that is.

Karkat and his father hurried out of the hospital as soon as they could. They got to the car and got in, Karkat sighing softly at the sight of the boxes in the back.

'Who fucking knows, maybe this place won't be so god-fucking-awful.'


End file.
